my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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