so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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