So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
