I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
