hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
