I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
