Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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