I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
