I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
