I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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