I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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