The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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