its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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