I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
