I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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