Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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