She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
where am i from again
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
