you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
