Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
