I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
