Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
