i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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