and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
