Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
