do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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