i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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