It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
