Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
