pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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