Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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