his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
