Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
