drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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