Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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