I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
