i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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