You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my shit smells like andre
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
