Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
