Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
