Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
