i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
