why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
