Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
