idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
