She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
