real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
