I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
