don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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