What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
