The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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